I’m having one of those days, sitting at my work computer at home and all is quiet as people are on summer holidays.
I’m looking out the window with my feet on the desk (hence the previous poem) thinking about nothing in particular. Maybe I’m trying to reflect or maybe I’m deflecting.
This post really is about nothing but maybe there is something. I usually don’t talk about myself much but maybe for once I should introduce myself, so here goes.
As some of you know my name is Stuart, I’m from the UK and I’m a finance professional. I’ve had my fair share of mental health issues, which seem to run in my family but with love and a little bit of luck I’m doing ok.
I didn’t actually realise or maybe I was in denial that I had mental health issues until in 2014 a combination of depression and alcohol left me in a very dark place. At the time I put this down to a perfect storm of external pressures and naively recovered and then carried on as before.
Then in 2018 the same happened again and I then realised finally that something within me was hurting. I had counselling for best part of a year and unlocked a few things which helped me to understand myself better. I also completely stopped drinking which was the devil on my shoulder.
I also concluded that the chances are I wouldn’t survive a third instance and therefore I have changed my attitude to life. Before I fretted about everything, now to be honest I can’t be bothered as when you really think about it there are only a handful of things in life that are really important. The rest is just noise and bluster.
The biggest thing though I learned was to talk about my troubles, I can hide things well, be it mental health or drinking and the first time loved ones knew I had a problem is when I blew up spectacularly.
Talking is key.
Also I write, hence this rambling post………
Once Lost in Nowhere, then Perditus
Now just a Simple Pilgrim